Sour Girl, Bitter Boy
by no thanks nora
Summary: It's pretty awkward for Leah to be in a pack with all boys, but things get even weirder when they try to make her get a boyfriend in hopes that she'll become a little less bitter. But what if Leah actually imprints... on a celebrity? R
1. Too Many Boyfriends

Author's Note: Leah needed some loving, obviously

**Author's Note:** Leah needed some loving, obviously. This is going to be a fairly short fic- I'm thinking around five chapters- and it should be finished pretty quickly.

LOL sex jokes about Leah.

**Disclaimer:** Stephanie Meyer owns the Twilight world and all it's amazing characters. I own the original plot of this fanfiction, as well as my own original characters.

• • •

1. Boyfriends

It was hard being the only girl; it was hard only having boyfriends. Although Leah did enjoy the gratuitous amount of time she spent with her 'boys', it was a simple fact that she often yearned for the company of people who would not burp at the dinner table and then laugh about it for the next three days. It would be so nice to have a friend who didn't dance to Justin Timberlake in their boxers, or eat gallons and gallons of brownie mix straight out of the bowl; it would be nice to have a female friend, a girl to confide in, someone to talk to. These were Leah's thoughts as she trailed behind her pack, arms crossed tight over her chest and scowling.

They had spent the afternoon in the theater, watching two and a half hours of the goriest bloodfest Leah had ever laid eyes on. She had squirmed in her seat, determined not to cover her eyes, for the longest time before eventually deciding to stake out in the bathroom until the movie was over, under the pretense of stomach problems. Leah was never one to admit that she wasn't as tough as the boys in her pack, even in matters of movie watching. Unfortunately, she had exited the bathroom some fifteen minutes later only to be jumped at by Jacob, who popped suddenly out from behind a corner with a guttural growl. Leah had screamed, throwing her hands forward in an attempt to fend him off, and he had laughed.

They were still giggling about it up ahead.

It wasn't that Leah didn't love her pack, because she did (in her own, bitter sort of way). They were all she had, they were her everything; she was closer to them than anyone else in the whole world, and she did enjoy their company- sometimes. The problem was that they were boys: nasty, immature, snot-nosed boys and Leah oftentimes felt like their reluctant babysitter. Not to mention, of course, that being tapped into their mind was completely disgusting. As a matter of fact, if Leah had to hear so much as one more perverted boy thought, she would snap. Honestly, they said she was bitter and mope-y, but they had no idea what she had to deal with on a daily basis.

"Come on, Leah," Embry called out cheerfully from up ahead, "We're getting slushies. Quil's going to snort his." Quil turned around long enough to give Leah a thumb's up.

What she would never admit was this: it was highly doubtful she would get along any better with a group of girls. Leah was not exactly very feminine; she had some rough edges that probably could use a bit of sandpapering. As a matter of fact, she was usually just as annoyed my females as she was by males. While boys were loud, perverted and gross, girls were petty, conniving and fake. Leah did not truly get along with anyone, but that was because she did not want to; she liked being difficult, in a twisted sort of way.

Tucking a strand of her short, unevenly cropped hair behind her ear, Leah picked up her pace. Quil snorting a slushie actually sounded sort of cool (although she'd whine about it being gross, to keep up appearances).

• • •

"What's the matter with Leah?" Embry grumbled to himself, rubbing his arm where she had punched him.

"The same thing that's always the matter with Leah," Quil said quietly with an impish grin, speaking lowly so that the female member, who was currently occupied in the bathroom, could not hear. Jacob gave him a low look. As the pack leader, he had taken on something of a silent resolve to make sure Leah didn't feel "too much like the odd man out". Little did he know, even the statement "odd man out' made Leah feel out of place.

They all recognized that she seemed to be getting better, if painfully slowly. She no longer tormented everyone else with memories of her heartbreak, instead focusing on petty insults, minor threats and constant challenges, as if to prove her worth. Although she always dragged behind, complaining, they knew she secretly loved it; that was the benefit of a hive mind.

"Let's not tag team Leah," Jacob said, poorly coming to her defense. "Think of how hard it must be to be in her position. She really misses her female friends, I think."

"She makes everything hard," Quil muttered to himself, his eyes looking almost fearfully at the women's bathroom. "And why's she always in the bathroom? I swear, if I have to hear about her women problems again."

The whole pack, including Jacob, groaned loudly. Last week, Leah had been on her period and it had been terrible. Not only had she complained even more often than before, she had eaten pretty much everything in sight (fortunately, the pack had learned to hide some of their goodies from her when it was 'that time of month'). She had been ornery, bitter and –worst of all- not the least bit discrete. While changed, she thought very clearly about her period and the pains it causes, going into careful detail. It was some kind of a sick joke to her. When she was in her human form, she continued to loudly voice every gory piece of information that came to mind.

"It's only once a month," Jacob said helplessly, "And she has to hear about all sorts of weird things about us."

"Nothing like that, though, that's just unnatural," Quil retorted.

"How do you think I feel?" Seth suddenly called, "She's my sister."

They all nodded sagely, agreeing that Seth had it the worst off.

"It's not like we can get rid of her," Embry said wisely. Even if they could get rid of her, they wouldn't want to; she made a pretty good Beta and could be a lot of fun, when the time was right.

"Maybe we could find her some girlfriends?" Seth asked hopefully, wanting to help. If Leah had some girls to talk about her problems with, maybe she would be more pleasant.

"No, that's no good," Quil said, dawn breaking on his face as an idea struck. "What she needs is a boyfriend."

"Err, I don't think she's ready for that- emotionally," Jacob said.

"She just hasn't found the right person yet," Quil said with a wave of his hand. "It's because she's always in La Push. If she was in college, or she traveled or something, this wouldn't be a problem; she should have a girl's day off."

"But she doesn't have any friends that are girls." Seth sounded exasperated. "That's the problem."

"A girl's day off, with just her, then," Quil tried. "We could pay for her to go to a spa in Port Angeles or something." And somehow, this made sense to the rest of the pack. It was well meaning of course- they just wanted their friend to be happy. Of course, being forced to go to a spa all by herself was likely to make Leah just the opposite, especially since she wasn't really a spa kind of girl. The whole ordeal would probably just make her feel more estranged.

They quieted down as Leah regally exited the gas station bathroom, her hands swaying from side to side. She turned, suddenly, aware that her pack all had identical, impish grins on. "What did I miss?" she asked, almost scared by what she saw.

If only she knew.


	2. Imprinting

**Author's Note:** Thanks to everyone who reviewed! I decided I loved Leah's character sometime in the middle of Breaking Dawn (or, more specifically, when she yelled at Bella). Leah is the bomb, period.

Team Werewolf? I think so.

As a side note, I will not be putting a disclaimer before every chapter. If you're concerned I think I own the Twilight series, see chapter one. Thanks!

• • •

2. Imprinting

She had driven alone to Port Angeles, painfully aware of the awkward silence in the car that was only half-covered by the tuneless blur of the radio. She did not like to be by herself, she never had. When alone, all of Leah's darker thoughts –especially those relating to Sam- plagued her. It was much better when she was in a crowd, distracted by other people. She hated being by herself.

Leah took in a deep breath, clasping the roll of money in her fist; the boys had handed her a wad of twenties and the address of a day spa in Port Angeles, insisting that she 'take the day off and enjoy herself'. She was almost entirely sure that they were planning something awful. It was more than likely, she reasoned, that she would return to La Push to find that it had burned down, or that Seth had gone missing. Why else would they be so desperate for her to leave? Leah almost walked back to the car, ready to drive all the way back to Forks; they couldn't be trusted without her.

Then again, maybe it would be nice to have a day just to herself. She wouldn't go to the spa, of course, but there were other forms of entertainment in Port Angeles. There were malls and parks and shoe sales and cute diners- all sorts of places that the pack never let her go to. Why, she could even enjoy a meal without the danger of Quil and Jacob engaging in an arm-wrestling battle across the table; the possibilities were endless.

She began to walk, arms swaying at her sides, a soft smile on her tan face. She did not notice people staring at her, perhaps because she was used to it. Everyone stared at her and her friends when they left La Push, most likely because it was rare to find a group in which everyone was over six feet tall. They stood out. Leah, for her part, was something alone the lines of five foot eleven, and incredibly thin with elongated, graceful limbs. Her short, choppy hair (Embry had cut it, unfortunately), hung in front of her proud face. She was beautiful, in a dangerous and exotic sort of way, but it was unlikely that she knew this as she was rarely told. Sam used to call her beautiful, but that was a long time ago. The only person who ever really complimented Leah was Seth, and he was her brother, so it didn't actually count, of course.

The crowd thickened and Leah was forced to stop walking. There was a tall, metal fence some ten feet away, and several police cars. Leah immediately thought she had stumbled upon a crime scene, and turned to walk in the opposite direction when she realized that a horde of young, teenage girls, all of whom seemed incredibly excited, surrounded her. She turned to one of them, poised to ask a question, "What's going on?" Leah asked incredulously.

"They're filming!" a blonde girl responded, squealing with anticipation. She seemed about ready to thrust herself at the fence.

Leah was quiet for a minute before curiosity got the best of her. "Filming what?"

The blonde looked at Leah as if she had just spoken blasphemy. "Kill All People II: No Survivors," she spoke. The words seemed very misplaced coming from her mouth.

"But no one survived the first movie," Leah said suddenly. She would know, of course, the first Kill All People was the movie she had been forced to see with the pack- the one she'd had to leave towards the end. Her loving friends, of course, had filled her in on the rest of the deaths- adamantly insisting that no one had lived to the credits. Leah had tuned them out after that, but had she continued to listen she would have learned that a sequel was being made with an all-new cast.

"Yes, well, whatever," the blonde replied. She had not seen the first movie, and she probably would not see the second one either. She was at the set for a different reason.

Leah was quiet as her eyes scanned the surroundings. She was in the middle of a huge, mostly female, crowd. Behind the fence was a plethora of cameramen, trailers and equipment, all of whom were rushing around a small group in the middle- the actors. Leah was not very interested, and just as she was about to leave, something caught her eye: a tall, blonde man, entirely covered in fake blood, hanging off the side of Port Angeles' bank. He was scaling the side of the building, making his way dramatically to the top in clipped motions. Leah's heart stopped, skipping a beat, and the whole world went into focus, as if a camera was zooming in. She could hear her own shallow breathes fade in and out like waves against the shore. She did not know who he was, but she loved him.

Leah had never felt anything like this before. It was so different from the way she had felt with Sam; that had been a comfortable, sturdy love (or so she had thought). This was more like a burning passion, a realization that she would do anything to have him, to make him happy. The whole universe spun around this man.

"Who is that?" Leah whispered.

"Who?" the blonde asked, her voice elevated. She too was staring at the blonde on the side of the building.

"On the building."

"Vincent Benoit, of course," the girl whimpered, her knees practically quivering. Leah did not know who Vincent Benoit was; she had never heard of him, but she was probably one of the few women under the age of twenty-five who hadn't. He was everywhere: on poster's, on magazines, on talk shows, on the red carpet (two supermodels on each arm), in movies. He was Hollywood's leading man, in roughly ten movies a year (not counting animated films that he voiced). Vincent Benoit owned the industry.

Blondie's passion as she spoke his name caught Leah's attention. She looked away from Vincent, instead turning her gaze to the blonde, who was wearing a homemade shirt that clearly stated 'I LOVE VINNIE B'. It was a crime, a crime that the blonde had to pay for. Leaning back somewhat, Leah threw all her weight into a punch that knocked the other girl to the ground. The blonde screamed agonizingly, spraying blood and a single tooth onto the pavement. The rest of the crowd, noticing the fight, stepped back and all hell broke loose as a hundred teenage girls all broke out into the same, pitch-less scream.

Leah began to walk forward, as if pulled by strings. She pushed aside the other, hysterical girls, making her way towards the fence and began to climb quickly and deftly. Just as she reached the top, just as she was about to jump down to the other side, she was stopped by security. A large man grabbed her by the shirt collar and pushed her back over the fence. Leah shot one last glance at Vincent before she ran through the crowd, darting away from the set. If she stuck around, she was likely to be arrested, and that was the last thing she needed right now.

She ran through the city, dodging traffic as she looked for a safe place to phase. If she was going to sneak into the set of Hollywood's most anticipated, high-budget movie and kidnap the leading man, she would need some help.


End file.
